My Chemical Romance Saved My Life

My Chemical Romance saved my life... seriously. In a restaurant, my family was arguing about whether we should go to Gramma's house. My mom was complaining about having too much work, not having anyone to help her, and said no. My dad wanted to help Gramma install something, and wanted to go, just for a while. My mom started shouting, and my dad probably got embarrassed. I got embarrassed, definitely. So we left the restaurant, and my dad asked why she had to shout, and she screamed that she was mad. Then they started arguing, so I took out my Zune and listened to My Chemical Romance at full volume. We went in the car, and they kept arguing. I started crying around the time when my dad asked me who would I choose. I didn't really understand what he meant, I just heard "...her or me?" because the music was at full volume. I didn't answer, so they kept arguing. We were in the car, so my dad pulled over near my elementary school, which is near where I live, and he told my mom to get out and walk home alone. My mom wouldn't leave, so we were there for about ten minutes. During that ten minutes, I was trying to make a decision. A very important decision which would probably change my life.


I was trying to decide whether or not to run away from home.


I was literally staring at the door, with my hand right under it, mentally fighting with myself. I was in tears, shaking, and eyeliner smudged all over the place. And as I was listening to I'm Not Okay, and I was thinking about how I wasn't okay. And I was thinking about how I shouldn't leave, that would break my parents' heart (or not..... I don't know) and some friends of mine I may not see again because they might tell. So I moved my hand away from the door handle, and just kept listening to My Chemical Romance.


But what would have happened if I had run? First of all, my dad is a pretty fit guy. He probably would have caught me after the first block. If my parent's don't notice me leave, I would have run to Joanna. But in my distraught state, I could have been attacked by someone, or run over by a bus. If I hadn't, I would have run to Joanna's house, who was in Church, so I would have waited. But then, what to do then? How would I go back? Would I ever have gone back? What if I never returned, never went to school in case someone told the police, and never would have again talked to my cousin who lives so far away in California.


And so many people would miss me, I now realize. There is more to life than just wallowing in my loneliness while working on drawings that are pointless. I have more friends than I realized, and people who loved me. And that's why I'm not running away.


So My Chemical Romance saved my life.